Loser-ish Lover

Dear Gracie,

I like this girl and whenever I try to hold her hand, she pulls away and tells me I’m weird. Should I risk getting a restraining order or live my life and show my love? Please help!

-Loser-ish Lover

Dear Loser-ish Lover,

I think the signs are a big indicator as to how this girl feels about you. If she pulls away every time you try to get physically closer to her, then that means she either doesn’t feel the same things that you feel for her, or she is not ready for that kind of closeness yet. There is really only one thing you can do. Talk to her; tell her how you feel straight up so that she completely understands your meaning. Then give her some time to think it over and decide if she’d rather just be friends or try it out and see where it goes.
-Gracie

Money Management

Dear Gracie,

Is it wrong for the girlfriend to give the boyfriend money all the time?

-Money Management

Dear Money Management,

Yes, it is wrong. Once in a while is one thing, like if he forgot his wallet or is running low that day, but all the time is not right. A man needs to have a means of self-sufficiency; he can’t depend totally upon you, because if he does then he will start to expect that you pay up, and what happens when you don’t want to or don’t have any money left? A possible solution is for you to let him know that your money is not his for the taking; it’s yours for the giving. Also, it could help if he tried to find a job or earned money in other ways, ensuring that he will learn the value of personal money management.
-Gracie

Lovely Challenged

Dear Gracie,

I LOVE my boyfriend; I couldn’t love him more, but lately it’s been hard staying away from him since we don’t go to the same school. I try to cope, but seeing these other couples makes me more depressed. Lately, in a club I am in, I’ve been talking to this senior, with whom I get along with really well. I found myself flirting with him, but I didn’t mean to! I feel him flirting back, even though I think he suspects I’m taken. Every day during our club activities, I can’t wait to see him, talk to him, to laugh with him…Do you see my predicament? I don’t really know my feelings for this guy, and it scares me that they will ruin my relationship with my boyfriend. I just wish I could realize if I like him or not. What should I do?

 -Lovely Challenged

 Dear Lovely Challenged,

The first step is sorting out your feelings. This can be difficult, but in order to solve the situation you need to know what you feel. Spend a day devoted to your boyfriend; see how much fun you have--if he still makes you smile and giddy inside, and how the day felt overall. If you felt none of those things when you were with him, it may mean that you have lost that original spark you had in the beginning of the relationship. Sometimes relationships die, it’s just that too many things get in the way or you grow apart or develop new interests. If this is the case, then you must communicate your feelings, or lack of, to him because things will just get worse later on. Once you sort out your current relationship then you can get to know this new guy better, but if you still feel the love you have for your current boyfriend then don’t give that up.

-Gracie

Cinderella

Dear Gracie,

 I’ve got classes, homework, chores--just like everybody else. Unfortunately, I have more than my share because my mom’s taking a course online. My two brothers are no help and both of my parents believe I’m not doing enough to help out with the family. I either come home to nagging parents or an empty house anticipating two younger brothers. I hardly have any control over anything non-school related. Any advice?
 –Cinderella

Dear Cinderella,

Life can, and always will, get extremely stressful at times, but what makes humans unique is how each person deals with that stress. It sounds as though you tolerate these situations very well outwardly, which is better then outright refusing to help your family. I would sit down with your parents, and without any distractions, tell them how overwhelmed you are feeling. Let them hear what pressures you’re undergoing through school, cleaning and babysitting and that you are drowning and need help. And one of the best things I find to de-stress an out-of-control life is to find an outlet. Do something that allows an escape from your normal, everyday hectic life.

-Gracie

Age Issues

Dear Gracie,

 I’m in love with a freshman, and I’m a senior, what should I do? -Age Issues

Dear Age Issues,
There is nothing wrong with this. If you think about the situation in broader terms, you are only three years apart from this person. Once you get out into the real world, that small age difference won’t matter very much, so be ahead of the game, and go for it. Be sure to keep an open mind and a patient attitude.

-Gracie